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E Pluribus Unum

February 11, 2013 - Jen Zbozny
E pluribus unum. In Latin that means from many, one. In our house we have the opposite going on - in terms of questions. In our house it's best to be careful about how you answer a question because one answer to one question is pretty much like the Hydra. If you cut off one of its heads, seven more grow back. Then the seven heads of questions chase you around the kitchen as you are trying to make dinner and THEY are riding on a little pink scooter you were insane enough to let Santa Claus bring. This is a battle you cannot win. Especially because they think it's super fun to drive into you on the scooter.

I do admire and enjoy the great beauty of a child's quest for knowledge. I also at times admire the lunatic idea that I could cook dinner in peace. Right. Dinner time is like flame for a moth when it comes to endless question asking. The other day, as I was cooking, Eve began to wonder about how heat and fire work. I love her powers of observation. Clearly she noticed I was using the burners on the stove. Thus she decided yesterday was the day to ask why the pots and pans don't burn. That is where I tried to kill the Hydra. I hoped the answer "because they have a really high threshold for heat" would do it. What was I thinking? Why didn't I say, "look, I happen to have this cookie and a coloring book right here in this lovely drawer."

But noooo...

Instead, all night long we had to look things up about boiling points and freezing points and smoke points and melting points. Not one of the answers on Google said "maybe you should think about your Mother's melting point." Many of them said Celsius. Some said Fahrenheit. Guess how I helped that Hydra grow a bzillion more heads? By the time I was finished (which is not true, we're never finished) I sort of wanted to stick my head in the freezer for a while. That's what I'm going to remember when the questions start next time. Instead of answering, I'm going to repeat the phrase "from one, many" and stick my head in the freezer.

That ought to do it. And bonus for me! Instead of eating whatever I was going to cook for dinner, I can just eat ice cream instead. Straight outta the box with my face, like you're supposed to!

Happy Mondays everyone!


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